The Domino's Squad
by Aoshi'sgirlinstraightjacket
Summary: What if the Domino Squad worked at Domino's! A look at the life of delivery boys and the perils that ensue.
1. Chapter 1

Disclaimer: I don't own anything

The Domino's Squad

We enter upon a busy street. The whizzing of cars flying by distracts us momentarily from what's really important. It's not the Wal-Mart a mile down the road. It's not the Burger King that happens to be the second Burger King in town. It's not even the $1 Jewelry Galore flashing brightly in front of Wal-Mart. We focus our attentions on a tiny corner of a lot sporting Pam's shoes and a piano shop. On the very end proudly stands a Domino's Pizza Parlor. The exterior is like any other Domino's; run down by the fierce competition of Pizza Hut and the convenience of Murphy's Pizza, but like all good stories that have morals to account for; it's the inside that counts…

Four employees of Domino's waited impatiently in the kitchen, drifting aimlessly around the ovens with pizzas cooking inside as they themselves cooked inside their grungy white uniforms. The emphasis for this year in the Domino's world was on crisp, uniformity. Along with the buzz on new movies such as the second Transformers and Iron Man, the employees looked more like clones ready for battle instead of young people working for minimum wage.

"He was specifically told to be here at 10;00. What is so hard about arriving to work at precisely 10:00. Or even better, he could have been here before; five minutes before. That's when studies, and professionals, and _philosophers _advise for new employees to arrive at work to retain a good reputation." Said the employee pacing between the swinging doors leading toward the counter and the public and the back door they enter through. After every cycle, he would stop at the back door and peek out the tiny window set in the metal.

"Will you chill, Echo?" Said another young man who was reclining on the counter, an action that happened to be a strict no-no in the restaurant. "He's already late. Don't bitch at him until he's actually here." Hevy, stretched over the clean counter tops, sat up and hopped down in one smooth motion.

Echo opened his mouth to reply, but at that moment their manager walked in. He should have known since Hevy went from sticking it to the man elevated above the floor to crossing his arms while standing solidly on the ground.

"Mornin' boys." Ninety-nine greeted the employees with a heavily Australian accent, much like their own accents. "I know it's early but…ah…where's Cut Up?"

"Late, sir." Echo interjected. Hevy and Fives were standing in front of him, so he leaned forward to make himself heard. Droid Bait was sitting Indian style behind all of them, not paying any attention, just looking up at the ceiling.

"That Cut Up. Well, seems you boys will have to make this delivery without him. Won't be too hard, will it?" He said with a smile. "Four strong boys like you."

"That's not gonna cut it when the regional managers show up." Echo murmured.

"Hey, guys!" Cut Up said as he threw the metal door open and busted into the room huffing. "Did I hear my name?"

"No. I said that's not gonna cut it." Echo said, we need to talk to you about that.

"No time dude! We gotta deliver this pizza in thirty minutes or the customer doesn't have to paaay…" He said the last bit in a whispered sing-song voice. He rushed around the kitchen like a missile, taking pizzas out and putting them in their card board boxes.

Hevy took the slip of paper out of 99's hand and saluted him. "Back in thirty minutes, maybe. Come on Droid Bait, off your ass."

"K. I'm gonna nap in the back." Droid Bait replied.

"Fine with me. Shot gun!" Hevy shouted, hefting pizza boxes onto his shoulder.

"Dammit, Hevy!" Fives exclaimed as he followed the rest out of the door. "Always calling shot gun, you bastard." He muttered.

"No complaining. Be a trooper."

Ninety-nine continued to hear the bickering until the engine of Echo's ancient, little car drowned them out. He shook his head. Somehow, he knew they would be his best team yet.

"So, the address is 320 Independence Road and the phone number is…"

"We just left the parking lot, we don't need to know all that yet." Hevy said. He leaned back in his seat with a hand on the Oh-Shit handle. Not that he needed it, he thought. Echo drove like a dead grandma. At least that's where he learned to drive.

"You know, Hevy, being prepared isn't always a bad thing. Go ahead Fives, read me that address." Echo said, methodically.

"Hey, Echo. How about going the speed limit; or five miles over like the law allows." Hevy said before Fives could open his mouth. Fives didn't say anything, just allowing the regular 'Hevy vs. Echo' bickering.

"If I was supposed to go to go 45 miles per hour then the sign would say 45 miles per hour." Echo said in the same teacher/student kind of voice.

It's damn annoying how he talks to me, Hevy thought. "Then you could go fifty." He replied. Keep your cool, keep your cool.

"No, that's not the point. Listen…" He pointed a finger in the air and opened his mouth wide to make Hevy understand.

"Hey! Independence! Right there, right there, right there, turn, turn, turn! Fives yelled pointing in front of Echo. Echo jerked hastily into the turn lane and made a quick left turn.

"Aaaaaaugggghhh!" Cut Up let out a high-pitched scream and threw his hands in the air. His fists thumped the ceiling. A bigger thump was heard from behind as Droid Bait rolled into the side of the car, not waking up from his nap.

"Three-twenty! Right there, right there!" Fives yelled again, pointing in the opposite direction. Echo spun the wheel, spinning the tires out and gunned the accelerator to avoid hitting another vehicle.

"Whooooo!" Cut Up yelled, now acting like he was on a roller coaster, hands still in the air. Droid Bait rolled back across the floor and hit the other side of the car.

Cut Up glanced at his phone. "Eighteen minutes. Hell, yeah! Let's go guys." He swung the door open and hopped out, running to ring the doorbell as Hevy hefted the pizzas onto this shoulder and also jogged to the door. Echo yelled at them as quietly as he could not to decimate the customer's yard.

"Shuuuush. They'll never know. Now, be quiet." Fives said behind him, playfully slapping Echo on the butt.

"Hey! That is sexual harassment."

"Come on, Echo. We're down to ten minutes." Cut Up said as he rang the doorbell.

Behind them one of the back doors opened and Droid Bait slowly crawled out. A man answered the door.

"Delivery!" Everyone yelled. There was a lazy delayed "delivery" as Droid Bait heard everyone else say it. Hevy lifted the pizza into the air and Cut Up and Fives posed on either side of him while Echo stated the amount the customer owed.

"There you go." Hevy said as he handed the man his pizza with a smile. They all returned back to the car. Droid Bait had just shut the door as the other four were heading back. He slummed back to the rear of the car, opened the door, and crawled into the back. Fives shut it behind him and then got in the car himself.

"Nice delivery boys! We did that in Arc Delivery Boy time!" Cut Up said.

"What the hell is an Arc Delivery Boy, Cut Up?" Hevy asked.

"I dunno." Cut Up replied with a finger on his chin. "I could've sworn I heard it somewhere…"


	2. Chapter 2

"Guys, I'm nervous. I've never done this before…" Fives said, fingering his blue Domino's polo.

"Will you relax?" Hevy said obviously annoyed. "It's not that hard. The customer tells you what they want, you punch it into the register, and Droid Bait back there will get the order." He handed Fives the money envelope for the register. "It's not brain surgery."

"Hevy is right, actually." Echo said, bringing a small box of coupons from the back to put on the counter. He set it down and pointed at the register. "This button opens the drawer, this one is for refunds, this button is for the different crusts, and a set of numbers will come down for that, these buttons are for the toppings, but someone switched the cheese and the spinach so don't forget that, I wrote which one is which until I can fix it…" Echo went on to explain every single button to Fives who was growing more and more confused. He was sweating and grabbing fistfuls of his shirt, pulling them away from his chest.

"I don't know about this…" He said, weakly.

"Too late! First customers of the day." Hevy said, disappearing under the counter.

"What? It's only like…good morning!" Fives said as the bell above the glass door rang and an older couple entered the small area. "Welcome to Domino's. What can I get you?"

In the back, Droid Bait stared at the pizza oven with a pizza paddle held up in each hand like a limp touchdown symbol. Echo stood beside him nearly touching his shoulder and whispered quickly:

"One medium supreme, thin crust, light sauce."

Droid Bait looked at the oven for a few more seconds then, slowly turned his face towards Echo. "Whaa?"

"Just do it, hurry. Medium supreme, thin crust with light sauce."

"Whatever, man." DB said as he started rolling out a thin crust, spreading sauce, and throwing topics on the dough.

The elderly man stepped up to the counter, billfold in hand.

"I need a medium supreme pizza."

Fives, after a few seconds found the appropriate button. "Alright, what kind of crust?"

"Ah, thin, I believe." The man replied. A few more minutes for the right button to be found.

"Is that all for you?"

"Could we request a light sauce?" the woman asked before her husband could speak.

"Yeah, sure." He turned to the kitchen. "Light sauce on that supreme.

"Got it." Droid Bait, said lazily shoving the pizza in the oven then banging the paddle a few times as he pulled it out.

"Careful! Gentle." Echo reminded him.

Up front, Fives was telling the elderly man his total. "That'll take about 15 to 20 minutes." He said, taking the cash and counted back the change.

"Ten minutes, at most." Echo said loud enough to be heard up front. Fives looked back at him with a confused look on his face. Droid Bait had resumed his stance with the pizza paddles and only shrugged when Fives gave him a questioning glance.

"What can I say? We have a system." Echo said proudly.

Hevy sat on the counter close to the back door as usual and stared at Echo and DB with narrowed eyes thinking "What the heck?" He had seen the two whispering and working on the pizza but he hadn't heard what they said. He didn't think the old couple were regulars. Not in the way that some people were; the people that came in every other day. He decided to dismiss the thought, leaned back against the wall, and waited for the day to end.

The pizza was soon done and given to the couple. They beamed at the finished product and the time it took, or didn't take, to bake. They were so overjoyed that they tipped Fives three dollars.

"Lookie there," Echo said, "first day at the register and you're already getting tipped.

At that point the phone rang and Droid Bait answered.

"Domino's." he said lazily, tilting his head back and to the side. "Yeah, k, hold on…hey guys?" He asked, addressing his coworkers, "do employees get discounts?"

"That's Cut Up isn't it?" Echo asked quickly. "Give me the phone." He demanded. Hevy jumped off the counter and strode swiftly towards Droid Bait and the phone. He pushed passed Echo and stretched his hand out. DB dutifully handed over the phone.

"Hey buddy, I rarely agree with Echo, and you know that I go out of my way not to agree with him, but you've been missing a lot of work recently. I might understand if you played some kind of sport, or had another job, or _somehow _had a girlfriend, but all you're doing is slacking off watching reruns of Bridezillas so this is going to be your last warning from me. Next time I'm gonna tell Ninety-nine."

Echo sighed behind Hevy in a defeated way. "Canadian bacon, olive, and pineapple deep dish with extra sauce and pineapple."

"K." Was all Droid Bait said before putting the pizza together.

"This one time, okay? And no, you're not getting a discount. You're paying double. Now, what do you want?" Hevy paused as Cut Up relayed to him what he wanted. "Okay," he pulled the phone away from him face. The others could clearly hear Cut Up singing "Heavy in Your Arms" on the other side. "He wants a Canadian bacon, olive, and pineapple deep dish heavy on the sauce and pineapple."

"_I'm so HEAVY, HEAVY in your arms! Haha, get it? Hevy, heavy?" _Cut Up laughed crazily, his signature laugh. _"I know you guys get it."_

"Shut up Cut Up." Hevy growled. Are you coming to pick this up or is it a delivery?"

_"Delivery dude, you know that, I'd miss too much of these bitches going at each other. It's CRAZY dude you need to come watch it with me sometime…" _he trailed off about ripped dresses and hair pieces while Hevy hung up on him. He turned around to see Echo, Droid Bait, and Fives staring at him.

"What? Go get his pizza ready."

"It's cooking." Fives said.

"What? I just now told you what he wanted." He looked at Echo and Droid Bait. Echo was reading a book in a plastic chair beside the oven and Droid Bait was shifting from foot to foot looking at the ceiling.

"If you haven't noticed," Fives started, "Echo has some kind of ESP thing going on and has called both orders this morning before they were ordered. Were those old people, like, regulars or something? I've never noticed them before."

"No," Echo replied, "the just seemed like the type who would want thin crust and light sauce. They've done studies on this type of thing, you know." He said without even looking up from his book.

"What about Cut Up?" Asked Hevy asked.

"Cut Up has this thing about pineapple and olives…so I assumed…" Echo trailed off.

"So if I was to order a pizza right now, what would I want?" Hevy asked.

Echo looked up for a minute and looked intently at Hevy. "Meat Lovers."

"And me?" Fives asked.

"You want cheese sticks."

"What about Droid Bait?" Hevy asked, hefting a thumb over his shoulder at their coworker who was sitting Indian-style on the floor.

"Droid Bait doesn't care what kind of pizza it is, or what kind of food it is for that matter. If it's in front of his face he's gonna eat it." Echo replied, matter-of-fact.

Fives and Hevy exchanged looks.

"You know there was that thing…" Fives said.

"Yeah and we thought it would be impossible for us, but now…" Hevy finished his thought.

"What are you two talking about?" Echo asked, scared because he didn't have any idea.

The two gave each other one more look and then nodded.

"Have you ever heard of The Delivery Boy Trials?" Hevy asked.

Echo felt a sense of dread close in on him.


	3. Chapter 3

Chapter 3

"Ninety-nine!" Echo yelled, crashing into the wooden door of Ninety-nine's house before yanking it open and closing it behind him. He barricaded the door with his body, stretching his arms out to either side of him. His eyes were wide and he was panting with sweat rolling down his face.

"Ninety-nine!" Echo's voice cracked with the desperation. He had been yelling Ninety-nine's name as he ran from Domino's to his house halfway across town. He had tried to hijack the car, but Hevy got to it before he did. His only option was to hoof it as fast as he could.

Echo pushed off the door and crouched across the living room and down the hall. He heard bodies hit the door and he knew they were here. He tripped over a bronze rooster decoration, and crawling the rest of the way down the hall to Ninety-nine's bedroom, he heard the door open and slam shut. Hevy, Fives, and Cut Up came sprinting down the dark hallway after him just as he reached up for the doorknob.

"Ninety-nine!" The three burst in the doorway. Echo was still on all fours and the three others nearly toppled over him into the room.

"Where's the fire, boys?" Ninety-nine asked, looking up over his bifocals from the book he was reading.

Echo steadily caught his breath as he proclaimed, "You didn't hear me screaming your name?" His voice was thick from running and cracked from screaming. His face was an excruciating shade of red and purple.

"Well of course I did." Ninety-nine replied. "You could wake the dead for God's sakes."

"Sir," Hevy started, stepping over Echo.

"Don't listen to him!" Echo demanded, pushing Hevy back. He stood up then leaned over to put his hands on his knees. "Zombies could have been chasing me or something." He said nearly to himself.

"Anyway," Hevy dismissed him. "We want to compete in The Delivery Boy Trials." He proclaimed with a fist to his puffed out chest.

"Ya do?" Ninety-nine asked the question while licking his finger and turning a page of his book.

"How did you even get here?" Echo asked Cut Up as he turning his head to look at him.

"We picked him up on the way." Fives answered. "We figured we'd have enough time before you got here. We timed it and it took us nearly 45 minutes to get here. We didn't even push 30 miles per hour through town."

Echo looked at him incredulously. "I was running as fast as I could." He said in disbelief. Beside Cut Up, Fives snorted and looked at the ground, trying not to say anything.

"Yeah…that's not very fast." Cut Up said.

"Excuse me!" Hevy said, glaring at the other three. "I'm talking."

"And I'm in bed reading. In my pajamas. Leave." Ninety-nine added.

"Can we?" Fives asked. The room went silent. "Compete, I mean."

Ninety-nine stared in contemplation for a minute then turned his head to the side. "Droid Bait, what do you think?"

For the first time, Echo, Hevy, Fives, and Cut Up noticed Droid Bait slumped in a wicker chair in the corner.

"What the crap?" Cut Up exclaimed, pointing at Droid Bait. "Am I seeing right?"

"How'd you get here before all of us?" Fives asked. Droid Bait shrugged.

"That's what that was whizzing by me on the way over here." Echo said, talking to himself again.

"Well?" Ninety-nine asked. Droid Bait shrugged again.

"Guess that means you're going!" Ninety-nine exclaimed, beaming proudly.

Author's Note: I know it's really short. Let's blame it on the tornado sirens going off right now. Darn spring.


End file.
